Writer's Block: Teenage dream
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
If you arrived at your front door and saw your first love standing there, what would you do or say?

Well, considering my first love is my current love, I would say- "(as i fall down on my knees at her feet) You are the one I have been searching my whole life for. I promise you that I will do anything and everything to make you happy. I love you, I have always loved you, only you. I love you for who you are. I love your smile, your laugh, your faith...I am not perfect, far from it, but you are the reason my heart beats, the reason I will fight the monsters, the haters, or anyone that would take you away from me. The greatest moment is now-the moment that I know you love me for me."
 
That is what I would say, and i would hope that she stays there with me. I hope that she could love me for me.

Its a great dream...

Writer's Block: Power of expression
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
If you were given the chance, what one thing would you tell the entire world?

It is okay to be different. As long as you have Faith, be who you are.

Writer's Block: Love is timeless
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
What is your opinion of relationships where there is a significant age difference between partners?

well, in my world, i am head-over-heels in love with this girl, a friend of mine,and she happens to be seven years younger than me, so...I am okay with an age distance. if the other person loves you, then its not a problem.

Writer's Block: Redo
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
If there was something you could change about your past, what would it be?

I wouldnt have let people treat me like shit in high school and college. I wouldnt have let the kids in my junior high pick on me endlessly for three years. I would have told this girl that I love her more than life itself.

Writer's Block: Living the dream
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
What is your ultimate dream job? Do you think you'll ever live the dream?

My dream job is to be a successful screenwriter and author. I am working on living the dream. I will get my break and then my dream will come true.

AM I SO PATHETIC??
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
Okay, i get that I love a girl who doesnt even know what I feel about her.

I get that she has a boyfriend, who is a dick, and she thinks he's the coolest thing since sliced cheese.

I get that I shouldn't even feel this way about a girl, but she somehow got under my skin and I can't get her out of my mind.

I get that a girl should not drive someone insane, but this girl IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!

I got voices in my head SCREAMING AT ME NON-STOP!!!

So, overall, aside from deleting my Facebook cause I couldnt stand seeing pictures of her and her boyfriend-i mean he got her some stuffed, pink whale. I BOUGHT HER A COACH PURSE!!! (not that its cool to buy love, but I wanted to make her birthday special)

I love her the way she is-SHE IS FUCKING PERFECT!!!

Anyway, overall I think i am doing ok. The voices are still there and I am starting wonder WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME THAT NO ONE CAN LOVE ME???

I am not the most beautiful person-I am a fluffy girl (been one all my life-horrible food allergies diagnosed as an adult, rather than childhhood, are partly to blame), i have great hair, I have a freaking Master's Degree, I can't drive (but thats purely out of self containment {i seem to have some issues that create these urges to drive off of high bridges-I am getting it under control} and self preservation), I hear a few voices but they are bearable, OKAY I HAVE SOME SERIOUS FLAWS, BUT....

I WOULD GIVE HER THE WORLD AND ALL THAT I AM IF SHE COULD JUST LOVE ME. I AM INSANELY IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL AND PART OF ME THINKS IF I TELL HER, MAYBE I COULD LET IT GO.  THEN AGAIN, SHE COULD ALSO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE, BREAKING MY NOSE (WHICH IS MY WORST FEAR) BUT I WOULD TAKE THE PAIN IF IT MADE HER HAPPY. SHE IS A GREAT FRIEND AND I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP HER AS MY FRIEND, OF COURSE BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE (TO THE POINT THAT BEING WITHOUT THEM MAKES YOU PHYSICALLY ILL BECAUSE SHE IS ALL YOU THINK ABOUT) AND TRYING TO KEEP THEM AS A FRIEND MAY BE PROBLEMATIC...

AHHH FUCKING CRAP!!! EITHER WAY, I AM SCREWED. MOST LIKELY, I AM GONNA LOOSE HER AS MY FRIEND, SHE WILL NEVER FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME (UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES OVERNIGHT AND SHE MAGICALLY FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME-I WISH!!!), AND I AM FURTHER DAMNED BY GOD BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH A GIRL!!

YUP, I AM SCREWED!! WELL, I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING BETTER, BUT AFTER THIS-I AM STILL DEPRESSED AND PISSED....AND THE STUPID VOICES WONT SHUT UP!!!

I GET IT!! I AM ALONE, DAMNED, AND NEVER GONNA GET THE GIRL!! I THINK MY MOTHER'S COMMENT EARLIER TODAY ABOUT JOINING E-HARMONY TO FIND A HUSBAND MAY BE OUT THE DOOR...

The Condemned
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
This life is no longer a life.

All I can think about is the girl I love and how she does not love me-she never will.

It feels like I am dying-my secret killing me from the inside out.

If they find out, if they ever learn my doubts, they will crucify me.

Everything I am feeling, everything I am thinking is wrong-according to what I was taught to believe.

I know God loves me, but Its hard to live life on Earth and not have someone to trust, someone to love me in a world that brands me unacceptable and wrong.

I will take condemnation if the girl I love would love me back.

It hurts too much sometimes...

It never stops hurting.

The Punishment
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
I was laid-off from my job because I was being punished for falling in love with a girl...

That's what I was taught to believe-God punishes people for doing wrong.

I beg for forgiveness, but I can't stop feeling what I do. I love this girl.

I knew, the day they let me go, that it was my punishment...I asked for this because I sinned.

It hurts...

The Sin
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
I comitted the biggest sin I was ever taught about in Catholic School.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL.

I AM in love with this girl.

She won't ever love me though, she can't.

So I loose on both ends...

I finally find love, someone who makes me feel whole and worthy of life, and it's with a girl that I can never have.

Writer's Block: Star-crossed
Supergirl My Everything
ayden07
Have you ever secretly loved someone you shouldn't have? If so, did you confess your feelings? Any regrets either way?

At this present time in which i am typing this, i cam secretly in love with a friend of mine, who happens to be a girl. The fact that she is a girl is against everything my family has taught me, but I have never, ever felt like this about anybody before, not even boys that i crushed on. i havent said anything to her, but its eating me up inside. she is a great friend but i cant say anything because she wouldnt feel the same way. she couldnt feel the same way. so i am stuck in limbo over this. my regret is loving her AND trying not to love her.

?

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